Artistry and Insight: A Canvas of Expression
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Art is my expression. It makes me feel good to convey my emotions on a canvas. Also explore my spiritual journey through insightful blogs. At Artsblogva it comes with the idea of creativity and virtual support .
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What triggers self-competition
Competition is everywhere. There is also a competition in the workplace between co- workers, managers, leaders- for power, popularity or title or even for money. A competition between actors, singers or anyone working with someone. Even applying for a job -you are competing with thousands of people to get your dream job. There is this inevitable comparison who are better or the best. There is always a challenge to every competition.
But what about self-competition? We often heard from people saying – I am competing with myself. I don’t want to compare myself with other people. Albeit, they are some people I look up to and are my inspiration of what I am today. And yes, it feels good. It feels good to see myself to become better and better from yesterday until today and tomorrow and so on. And this is so true.
As I am on my way to search my new career and new life somewhere else, I discovered 3 things that trigger self-competence.
- Excellence
Yes, excellence and not perfection. It means greatness- the very best. But achieving this is not easy. It is going through some tough times,some trial and error and human beings are fallible. We commit mistakes, make bad decisions until they become good experiences. Those things would help us navigate to the path to become great. We learn from it. We value experiences. Good or bad. Just keep moving. Aim excellence. Keep competing with yourself.
- Humility
To some people, it comes out naturally but usually it needs to be learned because it is better to stay humble whilst competing with yourself. It is self-confidence without arrogance. Some defined it as modesty. It is not weak but rather exudes strength. Being authentic to everything you do and to ensure you have good intention whether you are looking for a job or even meeting people. No matter what your status quo or no matter how hierarchical the organisation is - Humility speaks with your heart. Humility somehow equates self-reflection. From alcoholic anonymous once said:
“ This is not thinking less about yourself but thinking about yourself less often”.
3.Courage
It is hard to be courageous without plans and goals and yet competing with yourself is the strength to keep going. Your fears and uncertainty are quite intimidating but you need to face those things to achieve something. How many applications I sent? More than a thousand but only few responded. How many people I networked with? More than a thousand too. How many attempts I made? I can’t count now. But being brave is not enough but knowing fear is only temporary and is not real. I combined motivation, hard work, self-education and knowing what I want are enough for me to keep going and to move beyond fear to achieve my goals by competing with myself.
The Benefits of Slowing Down and Get the Life you Want
We live in a world where everything is in a fast-paced environment. We live in an instant gratification, and we forget to feel the process of how things unfold. With so much technology, social media, and the pressure of conforming to society's norms and standards, majority of the people believe that’s how we live so as not to feel the fear of missing out (FOMO). So many things going on and a lot of noise surrounding us just to feel the beat of life. Overstimulation and dopamine are ruining our lives. We like to be seen, heard, and matched to people’s lives to experience life itself. But the real question is – are you getting where you want to be in your life by simply doing temporary things to be happy? Do you think that happiness is a goal? It is a by-product of what we want, and what we desire, and it varies from time to time. Every day is just a normal day.
Did you know there is a power of slowing down and enjoying the journey and learning things as we navigate our life after all life itself is not a race. Life is to live. Life is made and not born. We may be in a different situation, but we are all looking for peace and stability in whatever we are doing.
Here are the things I discovered when slowing down.
- Clarity- it helps me think and make proper decisions in life in general. Live life in simplicity.
- Self-discovery – I never thought I could paint and draw if I didn’t take a pause in my life. I always ask myself what else I can do to improve my life.
- Personal growth- this is when I discovered my spiritual journey and how it changes my way of seeing, perceiving, and understanding of things in life. Suffering, inconvenience, loneliness, pain, solitude are part of growth.
- I see opportunities in challenges and find a way how to find a solution. When we are calm that's when good opportunity comes in.
- Self-awareness- it improves my sense of individuality and personality by thinking inwardly and by aligning my behaviour to my values and how it affects and makes an impact on myself and others.
- The comfort of living alone and being dependable as a person. It is beautiful, courageous, and appealing if a person can stand alone and on her own doing her own thing as much as possible.
- Spontaneity- not rushing. It is attractive to be spontaneous with what we are doing with fun and learning. Whatever we are looking for is not always at the end of the tunnel but somehow is in the middle. It is the process. It is in the journey. Living in the present and be present.
Sure, there are times when we are in a rush, however, every day, we are doing the usual thing. Simply, a routine. As we keep moving forward, we eventually find what work for us. Can we take time to slow down and have a reflection and ask what is the purpose of what I am doing and where am I heading?
Why Personal Branding is Important and How to Create One
All things have a brand name such as food, fruits, cars, companies, clothes, hospitals and many more. Each brand name has its own logo to identify and to attract consumers. Apple, for example has a logo that says, “Be different”. It is a short message, but it has a great impact to people to buy.
We, human, on the other hand, have branding too. A doctor, dentist, nurse, police, banker, recruiter, cleaner, janitor and others. We are all interconnected to each other. Given those titles, we must never forget our character that attach to it.Promotion is added responsibilities not a power to look down people.
Personal branding doesn’t need a title. However, your character and personality is what make you stood out from the rest. As the saying goes from Maya Angelou – “People will forget what you said and what you did but they will never forget what you made them feel.
This is absolutely true. No matter what you do in life, people would always remember your good sides. Your brand is your identity. Your Your true nature. It is contagious. It benefits others too. It has power. It can make or break your personal and professional life. It is not too late to create your own brand and let me share with you some tips:
1. Be authentic – authenticity does not automatically mean openness to everything in your life. In fact, you do not need to say that you are real because your action will show. It is come from within. It is from your heart. You always have a good intention genuinely. Take a look at Rolls- Royce car- you can’t see them advertising to any media outlet but only limited to ultra-high-end consumers it’s because they promote originality and authenticity. Same as human. I am sure you can figure it out. :)
2. Be kind – As Mark Twain said: “Kindness is a language the deaf can hear and the blind can see”. To some people, it might mean weak or naive, but you know what, it is strength not a weakness. Be kind to yourself and to others. Show some kindness every day. You don’t know how many people who need it. Give it freely and it will come back to you freely too.
3. Be likeable- Ahh. At some point in your life, you met a person with a positive aura that even if you don’t know him or her you feel good and at ease being with that person. He/she knows the art and science of likeability. Being likeable creates good connection with respect and great relationship. This is mostly innate, but it can be taught and can be learned. And please smile. Nothing makes you more attractive if you smile. People like people who smile. We never knew they need it.
How to Make Yourself Interesting
Everyone is unique. Each possesses its own traits and beauty. Each of us is moulded from where we were born, what we learned and what’s surround us. When we were younger it feels so good to socialise with so many people as much as we can. However, as we get older, we tend to look for something or someone interesting to talk to , to be with or to do things engaging and fascinating. As always, we hear; the more you are looking for those things the less you will find. As I take a pause and have a slow pace in life; I discovered that what we crave on something or from someone is just within us and starts within us. Here are the things that make you look interesting.
1.Re- invent yourself. No matter where you are and what status in life you are in. Take a hiatus and disappear for months even a year or so from the same people that you are always with. Carve your own path and be different. Have your own style. Be distinct.
2.Educate yourself. There is a saying” There’s more to know than we currently know”. Maybe a change of career or find a new passion that you always wanted to learn. Read more books, learn a new language , listen to podcast, join some clubs/sports, attend west end shows and practice being cultured. Smart people attract smart people. Nothing more attractive to a person with passion of things and the love of life.
3.Practice being alone and embrace solitude. This gives you inner strength, beauty, power, and confidence. Your beauty within radiates to the outside world without saying anything. It takes loads of courage to be alone for quite some time to change something. We all need help at some point in our life but do the things on your own as much as you can. You will discover what others things you are capable of by being alone.
4.Dress smart wherever you go. People notice your appearance straight away on how you appear to them. Experiment your wardrobe style that suits you and your personality.
5.Walk slowly (unless you are in a hurry). Relaxed people walk slowly. We live in a world in a fast-paced environment and being fast is necessary to speed up things when we know life is a journey and not a race. Even by walking in a slow manner helps us regain our control and able to process things easily.
6.Talk slowly and less and smile. Nothing makes you more attractive when you speak less with conviction and smile when you agree on something.
7.Always prioritise your personal hygiene. This doesn’t need more explanation. Everyone has its own ritual to make yourself fresh and clean
8.Practice becoming emotionally, spiritually, and mentally intelligent. These take a lot of time to discover because to become one it is necessary to cut the vicious cycles and pattern of your past lifestyle that does not serve you any longer. It is a never-ending transformation of yourself. Your way of seeing and thinking things in life is different from what is normal and ordinary for others. Empathic people are attuning on this one.
9.Love yourself first. Learn to give love to yourself and not depending on others and develop the inner richness within you. Have an abundant mindset. Abundant people know how to give love because they know how to create.
10. Be mysterious- Mystery creates curiosity and value. Less exposure to social media about your personal life and hide what you are up to unless it is a business.
11.There are more things I am sure to make us more interesting. Once you feel you are different from the rest, you just don’t feel the need don’t for validation. Whether you are in a group or alone, you are in your frame and spirit. You are energetically connected with yourself and people would notice that.
Why Some People Dislike You and Some Like You
Sometimes we have this feeling that we just don’t like each other even if we did not do anything bad. It is an energy vibe. A gut feeling. We all have different personality and perception in life, and we see things in different angles, hence, comes the disagreement and conflict, therefore, we have this feeling we don’t like each other.
However, I came with these ideas that it is not all about the appalling character that people dislike people (and I am pretty sure you are a good person). Without further ado, let me give you these reasons why people dislike you:
1. You are a likeable person. It is natural of you. You can resonate to people straight away even to strangers. People feel good being with you. You can create good connection right away. Those who don’t like you would wonder how you did that and deep inside wishing they have that personality.
2. You are very resourceful and creative. You always have option even during uncertainty. You find ways to fix and discover new things.
3. You are calm and highly intuitive. Despite everything you hear from other people who do not like you; you remain calm, and you use your intuition to ignore those things because you know yourself better than them. You remain silent instead of arguing because you knew it is a waste of time and for that reason that makes them dislike you.
4. You have great potential. If you notice those who do not like you; they keep comparing themselves to you. They see something in you that they do not have, and you have huge potentials that you can do better than them.
5. You have a vision. You can see many good things in every situation. You see loads of opportunity whilst those who do not like you only see problems and even discouraging you. You see hope in the present and even in the future.
6. You are confident in such a way that you are not boastful. Even those who do not like you, still you are confident to carry on with yourself.
7. You live life effortlessly. This is nothing to do with all the money you have but even if you don’t have everything in life; you live life with ease and in harmony because you know what you want and what works for you and what makes you happy.
8. You are naturally a good person. You do the right thing. You are doing great in your life. I do not mean perfection. You do have some fair share of shortcomings but still you keep thriving.
9. You are a mature person. Of all your experiences in life whether good or bad; you took them as lessons in life. You are getting smarter and wiser. You are open-minded. You see beauty in imperfection.
They dislike you because of these traits but deep down they wish they have the courage to be like you. Hey, these character are those who can see the beauty in you.
The Stigma of being Single
Have you been asked several times if you’re married or are you still single and why are you still single? Seems like a never-ending question and honestly, for me; I find it annoying. Don't get me wrong, I am not against being with someone in your life. It is beautiful and amazing being with the right person; however, it is a personal choice, and it is also the biggest decision who want to share your life with.
For some people, it is questionable that you are single. They may see you as lonely, broken, not successful or worst being told not lucky enough and that you need to lower down your standard. I found these reasons so low and laughable. We all have different situations and journey in life.
This is the reason why I wanted to write this article to open our mind, and to have a reflection to the unforeseen life of being single that often misunderstood by many.
· Being single for the time being have a greater chance to know yourself more and better. More opportunity to learn and grow in a personal level. What makes you tick and happy and how you set the tone for yourselfand eventually be ready in a relationship.
· Being single has more chance to nurture and discover your talents, abilities, capacity to do things in life without a partner.
· Single people are being cautious as to whom they want to share their life with. They are working hard for themselves to become a better person and not lowering their standards to be with someone they can’t complement with to each.
· Single people have more experiences and pains that they don’t want to happen it again for the sake of being someone. They are not into rushing things.
· Single people are picky and prefer to stay single if they can’t find what they are looking for. Remember, you attract of who you are and not because of what you want.
· Single people know how to enjoy their own company.
· Single people are flexible in terms of understanding of many things in life. They tend to see things in a different way not the usual way and not we are accustomed to.
· Single people are busy building their own lives and happiness within.
· Single people are not afraid of being alone so long as they are living peacefully with a sense of self-fulfilment and purpose.
Again, it is a personal choice. They are open to relationship; however, it is based on deep connection, shared the same values and the goal for personal growth. Everyone could have a partner but not everyone wants to have a partner and not everyone should have a partner. If that makes sense.
Real love is not trying to resolve our neediness by depending on another but rather developing our inner richness and maturity to become love itself.
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